My ex-boyfriend said my spirit animal was a house cat. He didn’t mean it in a nice way. It was a jab because he wasn’t a cat person. He was a dog person. We had a cat together and he would talk to the cat like it was a dog—very loudly like a hyper little boy. The cat always looked terrified. He didn’t respect the cat. You must respect the cat.
As a cat person, it isn’t that I don’t like dogs. I get along with all animals, and I like dogs, even love them. Unlike self-proclaimed “dog” people who hate cats. How can you hate such majestic creatures?
I was slightly offended that he said I was like a house cat. He had a look of distaste when he said it that hurt my feelings. Because I knew what he was really saying—I don’t like you as much as I thought I did and I’ll be breaking up with you soon. And he did.
People don’t like cats because cats are complicated. They’re moody. They’re still a little wild. Dogs are full of unconditional love and for the most part, they do what you say. But a cat’s love is earned, and it’s not their job to do what you say. They’re a cat.
Cats are like women. We’re sussing you out. But once there is a bond, you can’t shake us. We have expectations. And we want to cuddle. And sometimes we want you to get the fuck away from us.
People think cats should be easy. Just leave a cat indoors with food and water for a week, and they’ll be fine. Sure, some cats. But not all cats. People don’t think cats need things, but they do. They need love and attention more than most people realize. If you would just give them a chance!
Since I’m childless (not by choice, so chill), I put all my instinctual maternal love toward my cats. I worry about them maybe more than I should. I hate to see them sad or hurt. My boy cat Rex is on his second round of antibiotics from a cat fight two weeks ago and has now developed a big lump on his side from an infection. I can’t let him outside to do the things he loves to do, like roll around in the dirt, chase bugs, keep a watch on our territory, and lounge in the sun. It breaks my heart.
Sometimes I think I will be single forever because of my cats. Most guys are either allergic, hate cats, or are scared of them. Or they have a dog that’s with them constantly. I’m not sure I’ve ever dated a guy with a cat. There was a guy I dated three years ago who was angry that my cats broke into my room while we were having sex. It ruined the moment according to him. He seemed disgusted. Yet every time we hooked up at his house, his dog would stare at us with a slobbery ball in his mouth, panting, and waiting to play catch. I always found this distracting and a bit odd, but we went on with our business and I didn’t say anything. That was the last guy I dated.
It’s been just me and the cats for a long time. I sometimes wonder how anyone else will fit in. Is it possible for a man to love me and my cats? I only have two. We’re not talking cat lady status, right? Right?
I don’t know.
Dog people get to bring their dogs everywhere. They also use them as an excuse—to go home early and take them out for walks so they can piss and take a shit. This is acceptable in society. Telling people you need to leave to get your cats inside before it gets dark out? People think you’re nuts. You’re going home because of your cats? I’m going home because I don't want my cats to be eaten by coyotes. Is that not good enough for you?
I’ve been thinking about my cats a lot lately. I want to give them a good home without strays running around trying to mate or attack them. A suburban house with a big backyard where we can lounge in the sun on Saturday mornings. Not too close to the hills so I can let them out during the day without worry. These are the things I want for my cats and I. And maybe someday, a cat dad with whom I have a primal attraction. He’ll accept my cats, even love them. Is that even possible? I don’t know.
Music Rec
I watched the movie Cat People from 1982 recently. I remember always seeing it at the video store as a kid and wondering what it was about. It seemed very adult. Watching it as an adult, it’s a bit laughable. There’s something innocent about ‘80s movies in general, even if they were meant to be erotic and transgressive. Still, it’s a vibe. I’m recommending the movie and the soundtrack with a caveat that it’s pretty cheesy and camp.
The score is by Giorgio Moroder with a title track (“Cat People: Putting Out the Fire”) by David Bowie. Not the greatest song in the world, or even that good, but the score is fun if you’re into retro synths. Similar to Tangerine Dream and John Carpenter. Also good background music. Some of you might hate it.
Synth Noir Book 1 on Amazon
I'm a cat person, too, Phoenix. Always have been. And I also like animals and dogs fine, but I don't really connect with them the way I do cats. Hope Rex gets better soon!
"You must respect the cat." Absolutely! And I've no doubt my spirit animal is a house cat, and I say that with a modicum of pride. I agree cats are complicated, but dogs are just too much trouble. I have three cats, which might qualify me as cat lady...or cat daddy, I don't know, but it gets difficult when your partner is allergic. We have a system though, and she loves them. I've no doubt you can find a guy who can love both you AND cats. These guys are out there.